Youe rewards chart and how to use it in a fun way

I don't think there's any set way to do these things.
Find what fits in with your house and your kids and what's going on in your world.

But just to give you a few ideas.
If you wanted to do a weekly chart and if you can afford rewards every week then that's great, go for it.
If it ran from say Mon to Friday or which ever day you chose to end it on, and the child only had one box left to go. Grab a sticky note, put a smiley face in green or any another colour that is different in the last box, and write on the sticky note "An extra smile for doing one (state which ever one) of your jobs extremely well, so here's a free smiley"
Make something up something like, "here's a free smiley for simply saying thanks or putting your bag in a great place or your shoes etc etc".

It really can be what you want it to be, but the more positive fun stuff you do, may result in having to start doing daily rewards.

Sharing, how to break the bad habit

When ever a child is having a problem in one particular area, such as not sharing. It's a really good idea to find the cause before finding a solution. This way tackling the problem is far easier and much more pleasant for the entire family.

Strangely enough, the things that we try to teach our children from a very young age can actually have other outcomes that we just don't expect.

This is one example, which hopefully should help anybody to teach your child to share in a positive way.

I believe, as I think most people would do, that sharing is a good thing and all children should learn.

When teaching children to learn to share, it never seems to happen any other time than when it is needed. Such as when we see a child wanting a toy, and the child with the toy wont share, we talk about the need to share with others. After a short time we encourage the child to share or simply tell the child it's time to share and take it from them to share with the other child. I have done this a thousand times myself and I always thought that was all fine.

Until one day, a child walks up to another child and takes the toy from them, then says you have to share because you have had it for a long time.
Technically speaking that child has done exactly the right thing, because this is what that child has been taught to do. You may not see it that way, but it's true, think just a little while about it.
This is what may be happening with a million toddlers and a million 3year olds every day.

Now that we know a possible reason behind what is happening, we can now find a solution.
There are many things that can be done, but one way that I would recommend is to retrain a bad habit, which isn't that hard, it is a lot harder for adults to retrain believe it or not.

I would talk lots about what is happening (but not when it is actually happening) and explain in very simple short sentences with lots and lots and lots of positive words that "YOU" (your child) and I are going to work out how to use other toys for fun and how to share.
I say use the word "you", meaning your child because this is about him/her and not we, it's very important.
Talk compromise, such as bringing a toy to the other child to swap. He could offer a compromise with the other child about using the toy/s that he wants, such as a car, to play together. They could build a house with blocks that they could both use and share the car that way. Introduce more cars to the sharing experience.

Use your imagination write ideas down for yourself, but keep it really simple, simple enough that your child will 100% understand what your saying. Being two, three or four, may mean that if you introduce just one word that your child doesn't know, may give anything you say a whole new meaning, his/her interpretation in other words.

I hope this helps lots of people out there.

Chris.

The Best Tantrum Stopper Ever

Between the ages of 2 and 4 bring about the most amazing tantrums ever, one of the main reasons for a tantrum from a toddler is lack of communication between the toddler and the parent.
Finding what the cause of the tantrum is a great place to start and can usually lead the way in stopping a tantrum.

But what do you do if the tantrum continues?

There are many things that you can do, but this methods works about 9 out 10 times, which is a very high percentage considering most other methods work about 6 out of 10 times.

What to do.
For example, if a child wants something and you don't want them to have it, and you would rather them do something else, such as play with a doll, (to distract them form what ever it was you didn't want them to do).


Their first reaction is "TANTRUM" which of course is their way of getting what they want.
Now, here's the trick. After doing what ever it is you would normally do (as this may work straight away), which could be explaining that the thing they want is breakable and not a toy, or letting the child know the thing they want is already broken. When all that you normally do is done, simply and this is very simple, get your child to say "Yes". It doesn't matter what they yes to, just get them to say yes.

I shall explain in a little more detail.
Your child asks for a biscuit, you say (always speak with a calm, upbeat, happy voice) "would you like to play with your doll". The answer is probably going to be No. You could ask the same question again, with yet another No. Ask a totally different question, such as "do you want to ride your bike" yet another no. Another, "do you want to see nanny tomorrow, yes" and again another no (now adding a yes to your question). Ask another question, "do you want to go for a swing, yes", still another no. Keep going with the questions until you get a yes, it should take just 2 - 4 questions to get a yes. When you do get a yes such as "do you want ride your bike, yes", when your child says yes, you immediately you say in a very soft gentle voice, "ok let's go and play with your doll". Amazingly, they will do exactly what you have just asked them to do.

Why does this work?
Pretty simple really, a toddler (without understanding why) wants to be in charge of what is happening. Getting them to say yes to something, they now feel that they are in control and all you have to do is agree with them by saying ok. By saying Ok let's go play with the doll, they now believe that their request has been met, even though you made the request for them, they think that it's theirs. They now go and do what you want them to.

It's really just another form of redirection by changing the subject and giving them another option.
It also relies on the fact that their attention span is quite small at that age, and a few simple questions about their favourite things will distract them long enough to help them to forget what the tantrum was all about.

And of course don't forget that the word "Yes" is a very powerful and an extremely positive tool and can achieve the most amazing things in life, even for adults in an adult world.