Sharing, how to break the bad habit

When ever a child is having a problem in one particular area, such as not sharing. It's a really good idea to find the cause before finding a solution. This way tackling the problem is far easier and much more pleasant for the entire family.

Strangely enough, the things that we try to teach our children from a very young age can actually have other outcomes that we just don't expect.

This is one example, which hopefully should help anybody to teach your child to share in a positive way.

I believe, as I think most people would do, that sharing is a good thing and all children should learn.

When teaching children to learn to share, it never seems to happen any other time than when it is needed. Such as when we see a child wanting a toy, and the child with the toy wont share, we talk about the need to share with others. After a short time we encourage the child to share or simply tell the child it's time to share and take it from them to share with the other child. I have done this a thousand times myself and I always thought that was all fine.

Until one day, a child walks up to another child and takes the toy from them, then says you have to share because you have had it for a long time.
Technically speaking that child has done exactly the right thing, because this is what that child has been taught to do. You may not see it that way, but it's true, think just a little while about it.
This is what may be happening with a million toddlers and a million 3year olds every day.

Now that we know a possible reason behind what is happening, we can now find a solution.
There are many things that can be done, but one way that I would recommend is to retrain a bad habit, which isn't that hard, it is a lot harder for adults to retrain believe it or not.

I would talk lots about what is happening (but not when it is actually happening) and explain in very simple short sentences with lots and lots and lots of positive words that "YOU" (your child) and I are going to work out how to use other toys for fun and how to share.
I say use the word "you", meaning your child because this is about him/her and not we, it's very important.
Talk compromise, such as bringing a toy to the other child to swap. He could offer a compromise with the other child about using the toy/s that he wants, such as a car, to play together. They could build a house with blocks that they could both use and share the car that way. Introduce more cars to the sharing experience.

Use your imagination write ideas down for yourself, but keep it really simple, simple enough that your child will 100% understand what your saying. Being two, three or four, may mean that if you introduce just one word that your child doesn't know, may give anything you say a whole new meaning, his/her interpretation in other words.

I hope this helps lots of people out there.

Chris.